Update: 28 April 2020
My friends and I went PasarBella @ Suntec to have dinner on 22 March 2019, Friday. Given the food options there, it’s no surprise most of us chose Wolf Burger because it was cheaper and more filling. When we were having dinner, a friend suggested going to a Singles meetup. He said the entry fee to the club (it was reserved for the event for 4 hrs) was 15 dollars for gents, you get a free drink and subsequent housepour was for 5 dollars. A female friend who had never been to such places before wanted to go, so we went.
On our way there, my friend told us he was leaving in an hours time for a soccer match. I thought what the hell are we going there for then. To be honest the planning was a mess. We entered the club and my friends were sitting around the couch. A few guys kept flirting with my friend and she couldn’t stand it… eventually they all left. They told me they were going to someplace else but I didn’t hear. I ended up staying to hang around and see what the place has to offer. Sometimes you have to pursue your interests alone, you never know what interesting/exciting path it might lead to.
It was a great place to reduce your social anxiety and increase your comfort in unexplored social settings. The club was a higher-level-than-your-typical dungeon with stronger monsters which gives more exp when you slay it. If you want to see how far you can go, you have to push yourself out of the comfort zone and constantly test the mettle. That’s why professional basketball players practise dribbling with two basketballs and lift heavy weights to prepare themselves. They overload their bodies when they train, so that during game-time they are prepared.
Although the people there were much older than me, in their late 20s or 30s, I enjoyed speaking to them. I met an Iranian guy who studied 15 years in KL. It was fascinating to witness how awkward some people can really be, it’s like they never mingled in a mix-gender groups before…
The main point is - I wasn’t clear about what I wanted out of meeting them, so anything goes. This post is written to clarify to myself what I want out of the meetup. I want to create a non-judgemental and nurturing safe space where everyone can feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings. It’s a kind of meditative, chill and learn group I guess. Places like clubs or bars (depends on ambience and noise level) are generally unconducive for that.
This was why I asked them, “What do you all want to get out of this group?” Now that I’ve clarified my aims, it will be on my mind every time we meet. I’m zoned in on this. As the rules and focus of our group become more legible, some people will naturally drop out. It could be their disposition and interests simply doesn’t match with the group. Well, groups are exclusive by definition.
Last updated: 25 July 2021